


philophobia

by blights



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Luz Noceda Needs a Hug, Oh I forgot to add, Post-Episode: s01e19 Young Blood Old Souls, idk what this is, luz is an overthinker, mentioned Homophobia, rated teen for light language, the actual fic is done i'm just gonna make an epilogue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27277036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blights/pseuds/blights
Summary: philophobia - a fear of love
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 20
Kudos: 175





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i made this at midnight in 20 mins, so i'm sorry if it's all over the place

Luz is scared.

She doesn’t know why. That’s what she’s trying to figure out.

All she knows is that she’s scared.

She’s sitting at her window and looking at the stars and wishing she could fly and see them up close. Amity is next to her, but she’s asleep. Unaware of the crisis that Luz is currently going through.

She stops and thinks. Now that she looks back on it, Amity always looked flustered and stumbled over her words when she was around her. Luz even asked her once if she had any crushes, but all she did was stutter and deny everything that Luz said.

Maybe, just maybe.

No.

There’s no way.

Luz finds the big dipper. It’s weirdly shaped, though. Probably just the Boiling Isles.

Maybe Amity likes her? Like, like-likewise.

It’s a ridiculous idea. Nobody’s ever had a crush on Luz Noceda. Why would they? She’s weird and awkward and annoying.

Well, that’s what the people in the human realm always told her. When she finally got the courage to tell her mom about it, she did her best to help her, but they never stopped calling her names and teasing her.

Luz smiles at the thought of her mom. She would do anything to see her again.

After a while, her mom suggested the “Reality Check” camp. Luz didn’t like the idea, but she trusted her mom. It must’ve been fate that led her here. Although, the fates messed up a bit because she can’t even see the one person in her old life that actually cared about her.

Cares.

Right.

Her mom thinks she’s still at summer camp. If only she knew.

Amity makes a noise, startling Luz out of her thoughts.

“Amity?” Luz whispers. If she’s awake, maybe she’ll have someone to talk to instead of spilling all of her thoughts on herself.

“Hm?” Amity’s eyes open slowly.

Luz stares for a second. Has Amity always been this pretty?

“Um. Nevermind. Go back to sleep.” Luz smiles at her.

“Okay. Love you.” Amity closes her eyes again.

What.

It looks like she’s already asleep. Luz is panicking because holy shit Amity Blight just told her she loves her?

There’s no way Amity Blight likes Luz Noceda, it’s impossible.

Maybe she meant it platonically. That’s plausible.

Luz doesn’t want it to be platonic.

But she’s scared.

This is why she’s scared.

She’s scared because what if she’s reading this all wrong and Amity doesn’t like her? Maybe Amity is only having this sleepover because she feels bad for her. Maybe she’s pretending to like her that way just so she can dump her and break her heart.

But the Amity she knows would never do that.

Right?

And a voice in her head, quiet but strong, responds, _Right._

She sighs and looks at her phone on the ground. It’s not dead, it just has no signal or wifi, deeming it unusable. If only she could text her mom. Maybe she could help.

Then she remembers, Eda.

Eda isn’t the best role-model, but she tries her best, and Luz loves her for that.

It’s that word again. _Love._

She doesn’t know why, but the word makes her want to grab her coziest blanket, the fifth Good Witch Azura book, and a flashlight, and curl up somewhere small and safe. Like escaping monsters. But a nice one. A nice scary monster? She’ll figure that out later.

In the morning. That’s when she’ll do it. It’s too late now and she can feel her eyelids getting heavier.

She goes over to her sleeping bag that she’s been using since she got to this whole place. Amity in another one right next to her. King is curled up at her feet, but his eyes are open.

“Hey, bub. Why are you awake?” Luz asks him softly, picking him up and holding him. For a demon, he’s surprisingly cuddly.

“I saw you were awake and wanted to accompany you to sleeping.” He answered, a bit too loudly as it caused Amity to stir.

Luz shushed him and set him down on the mat. “Okay, sweet dreams, King.”

“I don’t know what that means. Same to you too.”

Luz chuckles and nods, “I hope.”


	2. Chapter 2

Amity needs to go back home. Luz doesn’t want her to go and Amity doesn’t want to go either. Luz knows what her parents are like and they won’t be happy when they find out she had a sleepover with someone outside of their chosen friend group, let alone a human.

Luz still hasn’t brought up what happened last night, and neither has Amity. Maybe she doesn’t remember. She _was_ half asleep when it happened.

“Luz, are you okay?” Amity asks her as they are cleaning up the mess of pillows and blankets that they made last night when they attempted to make a pillow fort. It had been Luz’s idea, of course, but Amity seemed more than happy to do it.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“I don’t know. You just seem kind of… out of it.” She shrugs and goes back to folding a blanket.

Luz freezes. Amity knows. She’s gonna tell her that she doesn’t like her back and that she never wants to see her again. She’s gonna tell her how she’s too much of a weirdo for her to ever like her.

She’s gonna lose her.

“Luz?” Amity waves her hand in front of her face, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Now’s her chance to tell her.

“I-” Luz cuts herself off. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“Oh, okay.”

Amity looks disappointed. 

Why? Did Luz do something wrong? Did she mess everything up? Does Amity hate her now?

All Luz wants to do is to fall in the pile of pillows that they pushed to the corner and scream.

But Amity is still here and she would probably ask her if anything is wrong again. She doesn’t know how to tell her that she’s the problem.

It’s not a bad problem. More like Luz panics internally every time she thinks about Amity. That’s a problem because she can’t stop thinking about her.

“Amity, can I tell you something?” Luz asks.

“Yeah, sure,” Amity’s attention is now on her and Luz is sure she’ll combust. “What’s up?”

“I think I-”

She’s cut off by Eda calling them from downstairs. “Amity, your siblings are here to pick you up!”

“Okay! I’ll be there in a second!” Amity calls back. 

It all feels so natural. Amity and King bickering over who gets the last cup of apple blood in the morning while Luz reads at the table, reminding them that violence isn’t the answer. And Eda and Lilith play their morning game of “Hexes Hold ‘Em” in the living room. Or what Luz likes to call it, the death room.

She wants it to be like this forever.

But Amity has her own family and Luz’s mom is still in the human realm. Maybe she could tell her about this place. She’d probably freak out, but it would be worth it if she let her keep coming here.

Luz also knows that Amity’s parents suck. If she could, she would invite Amity and the twins to move in with them. But the Owl House is small and barely fits Eda, King, Lilith, and Luz.

“What were you gonna tell me, Luz?” Amity asks her, putting her hand on Luz’s.

Luz tenses. There’s no way out of this, is there?

Actually, maybe there is.

“I just wanted to tell you that you look really pretty today.” She says, smiling. It’s technically not a lie, but it’s not the full truth either.

Luz can feel her face burning, thank God for her dark skin, her blush is less visible. She can see the way Amity’s whole face goes red and she stammers, “Thank you. You too.”

They are staring each other right in the eyes, it should be awkward, but for some reason it feels serene. Luz glances down at Amity’s lips and she does the same. Amity opens her mouth like she’s about to say something when someone knocks on the door.

What’s with the world hating Luz today?

“Amity, Eda let us in. Are you coming home or not?” Comes Edric’s familiar voice through the closed door.

Ed and Em are her friends, so normally she’d be fine with them coming over, but now is _not_ a good time.

Amity’s eyes are screwed shut and she looks like she’s planning the twins’ funeral in her head. “Yeah, coming.”

Luz has officially come to the conclusion that the universe hates her.

They awkwardly wave goodbye, Emira and Edric bombarding Amity with questions as to why she’s blushing so much and Eda peeks into her room and gives her a _look._

“Did I miss something?” Eda asks in a slightly teasing voice.

Luz groans and grabs a pillow. She screams into the pillow and stomps her feet like a toddler having a tantrum.

“Wow. Guess I did.” Eda scoffs lightheartedly and goes over to Luz who is on the verge of tears but desperately trying to hide it.

“I’m guessing you know about my crush on Amity?” Luz croaks, hugging the pillow while Eda puts a comforting hand on her arm.

“Yeah, why?”

“Where I’m from… Some people don’t approve of love like that.” 

“What do you mean?” Eda looks genuinely confused and, oh, maybe they don’t have homophobia on the Boiling Isles. Makes sense.

“On Earth, there are some jerks that don’t believe people should be able to marry who they love. Like, they don’t think girls should be able to marry girls or boys should marry boys. And they also think that there’s only two genders which is really dumb because they use science to defend it when it’s literally proven by science that there’s more than two genders-” She stops herself at Eda’s face.

Guess there really is no homophobia here.

Luz continues, “What I’m trying to say is that in the human world, my mom was the only person who accepted me for who I am. I’m glad, too, because things got pretty harsh at school after I came out.”

Eda looks mad now, oh no. “Harsh? What happened?”

Luz fiddles with her thumbs and mutters, “It’s okay. The bullying just got worse. Nothing I couldn’t handle.” She plasters a smile onto her face, but it slowly crumbles as she remembers the things they did.

“I hated it there. I still do. My mamá made things better. You should meet her, Eda. You’d like her.”

Eda smiles and hands her a tissue. Where did she even get that from?

“Well, your mother seems like a wonderful person. I’m glad you have her, Luz.” Eda says, patting her on the back.

“Me too.” Luz sighs and shakes her head, “I think Amity and I almost kissed earlier.”

Eda blinks. “You did?”

“Yeah, but then Ed knocked on the door.”

“Oh, sorry about that.” Eda chuckles nervously and scratches the back of her neck. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Luz smiles. She’s glad that Eda is worried and wants to help, but for now, she wants to do this herself. “No thanks, I can do this.”

“Got it.” Eda makes her way out of the room. “And hey,” she adds, turning back to Luz, “If you ever _do_ need help, I’m your girl.”

Luz laughs, “Noted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, a chapter late at night
> 
> ok so luz's (very short) rant about homophobia and stuff wasn't planned, it just felt necessary


	3. Chapter 3

So apparently asking someone out isn’t as easy as Luz thought it would be.

Willow and Gus said that they could help her as well, but she said that same thing to them, “I can do this.”

That was a big ass lie.

Luz is freaking out. She has a class with Amity today, the class that she was planning on confessing in.

Other than that, she hasn’t seen Amity yet today. Maybe she’s avoiding her. Luz can’t blame her after what happened yesterday. Gus and Willow have been assuring her that she’ll be fine, that Amity will feel the same way.

Luz kind of doubts it. But she’s trying to keep a positive attitude. So what if Amity doesn’t like her back? It’s not that big of a deal anyways.

Okay, that was a lie too.

She feels the same way that she would feel before a play. What’s it called? Stage fright. But this isn’t stage fright. It’s more like life fright. Seems fitting.

The bell rings, well, screeches, and off she goes. To certain death. This is fine.

.

Luz walks into the classroom and sees Amity in her normal seat, sketching in her notebook. She notices Luz and waves. Luz waves back. Her hands are sweating so much, she’s surprised that Amity hasn’t noticed.

She sits next to her. Still normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Although, Amity is staring at her more than usual.

“Do I have something on my face?” Luz asks her, wiping at her face in case there’s still crumbs from her breakfast on her face. That would be embarrassing.

“No,” Amity says, “Sorry about that.”

Luz smiles at her and waves it off, “Nah, you’re fine. Guess I’m just that attractive,” she adds, wiggling her eyebrows.

Amity puts her hand on Luz’s face, “Stop that.” But Luz can see the blush on her face.

“Whatever you say, m’lady.”

The blush gets brighter.

Maybe Gus and Willow were right after all.

.

After class, the bells rings, sorry, screeches, once again.

Luz grabs her stuff and makes a run for it. What is she running from? She doesn’t know. Probably her problems. Definitely her problems.

She turns the corner and runs straight into Boscha. Seriously, what do the fates have against her?

“Watch where you’re going, Chaos.” Boscha says snarkily.

Right, Boscha had gifted her this _lovely_ nickname after an incident in potions class.

Yeah… That didn’t end very well.

“Hey, Boscha.” Luz says nervously.

“Nope. Don’t talk to me.”

“Yep. Got it.”

Luz hurriedly pushes past her and, what in the actual fuck, runs into another person.

Okay, there’s no way she’s _this_ clumsy. Something must be happening to her.

Great, it’s Amity. How did she even get there? Isn’t her next class on the other side of the school?

“Watch it- Oh, it’s you. Hey, Luz,” Amity looks around and looks back to her confused, “Isn’t your next class beastkeeping? Why are you here?”

“I thought this is where the beastkeeping classes are?” Luz knows what she’s talking about, but she just wants an excuse to talk to Amity longer.

Amity giggles and Luz wants to tell her right there. “No, Luz. They’re over there.” she says, pointing over her shoulder.

“Thanks, Amity! See ya later!” she winks to her, running -this time watching where she’s going- to her class right as the bell rings.

Luz blew it.

.

The next day, she has a plan.

Luz writes a note to Amity:

**_Amity,_ **

**_I think I ~~am in love with you~~ have a crush on you. How could I not? You’re beautiful, smart, kind, and everything anyone could dream of. ~~I really wanna kiss you.~~ If you hate me now, please don’t tell me, just ignore me kindly._ **

**_~~Love,~~ Yours truly, _ **

**_Luz ~~♡~~ :)_ **

**_(p.s. I think it might be more than a crush. Oops.)_ **

She speedwalks to Amity’s locker that morning. She’s pretty sure she’s the first one at school so if some monster eats her, that’s on her. She goes to put the note in her locker, tickling the locker and asking it to _not_ swallow the note.

She turns and goes to class, somewhat nonchalant.

Sure, school starts in seven minutes but there’s nothing wrong with being early. She walks into her first class of the day, plants, and sees Willow and Gus chatting next to a big plant. The plant looks pretty deadly but she’s seen worse.

“Hey, guys!” She greets them.

“Hi Luz!” Gus says as Luz pulls them both into a big hug.

“So? How’d it go?” Willow asks her while healing the big plant.

“I chickened out and wrote her a note instead.” Luz sighs, playing with one of the plants. Why is it acting like a puppy?

“That’s good!”

“Yeah, I tore the first one up and flushed it.”

“Oh.”

Luz opens her backpack and grabs the first Azura book, “But then I made another one and put it in her locker.” She hands the book to Gus, “You wanted to read this, right?”

Gus takes the book, “Yes! Thanks, Luz!”

“No problem, bud.”

Gus really loves anything human, so this book is like treasure to him.

Willow finishes healing the plant and turns to Luz, “So, you wrote a note, flushed it down the toilet, wrote another one, and put it in her locker?”

“Yeah… Did I do something wrong? Was putting it in her locker against the witch code?” Luz is freaking out now. She doesn’t want to be the cause of some crazy curse happening.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just still kinda stuck on the fact that you flushed a note down the toilet. Like, couldn’t you have just thrown it away?” Willow laughs, “It’s just kind of funny.”

“Yeah, I guess I could’ve just done that. But who has time for it?”

She checks the time and it says she has three more minutes until school officially opens for the day. That also means three more minutes until Amity reads the note.

Three more minutes until total and complete humiliation. 

That is, if it goes wrong. If it goes right then she’d be worrying about this for nothing.

Maybe she’s overreacting. She probably is. Not her problem. Well, actually…

Tomorrow’s problem. Right now she has other things to deal with. The bell that signifies the start of the day goes off.

No going back now.

She peeks her head out of the door of the classroom to see if Amity is around yet. Willow and Gus walk out of the room to grab their things, wishing her luck.

Amity comes into the school. This is the part where Luz would normally doubt her choices and think back to what she could have done differently, which is exactly what she’s doing right now.

Amity’s walking up to her locker, Boscha and Skara not far behind her. That’s not gonna be good. Maybe she can use the power of friendship to summon telepathy and ask Willow to distract the two.

Yeah, not happening.

Completely possible though, if she were in the My Little Pony universe.

Amity is opening her locker and looks startled at the letter falling out. Amity makes some kind of weird gesture and Skara nods, distracting Boscha and leading them somewhere else.

Amity looks around and picks up the letter.

Luz feels like a creep watching her. She tries to subtly walk past Amity, but in less than a second, Amity is calling her over.

“Hey, Amity.” Luz greets her nervously, drawing out her words.

“Hi. Do you know who this letter is from?” Amity asks, showing her the letter.

Act oblivious. Oh yeah, she's got this.

“Whaaaaaat? Pfft, no. Why would I know? I didn’t even know they wrote letters in the Boiling Isles,” she points to the letter, “You should open it.”

Amity nods and Luz regrets everything. Now Amity is gonna have to reject her to her face.

She’s reading the letter and Luz has her hands over her eyes, her heart beating so loud that she’s sure Amity can hear it.

After a few moments of Luz internally screaming and Amity reading the note for what feels like a year, Amity finally clears her throat, “Is this what you were trying to tell me the other day?”

Luz keeps her hands on her eyes and nods. She feels Amity's hand around her wrist and she allows her to take her hand away from her face. Luz expects her to let go of her hand because why would anybody willingly hold Luz’s hand, but Amity doesn’t let go. She links their hands together and Luz stares at their hands for a few moments.

Maybe she’s overreacting but she is about two seconds away from exploding into a puddle of feelings and her thoughts are the equivalent of a literal key spam.

“Luz,” Amity starts, “I don’t know what to say.”

Luz tries to talk, but her voice is gone. She smiles and rubs her thumb over Amity’s hand. Trying again, she clears her throat and says, “I don’t think I need to say it, since the note already did, but you’re all I can think about and I'm not completely sure if you feel the same. It’s okay if you don’t, I understand. But if you do, I think that we would be able to make it work.”

They’re looking in each other’s eyes again and Luz is reminded of that night at the sleepover. The way she felt so scared and so ready and so disappointed in herself when she couldn’t do it. It was only two days ago but it feels like a lifetime ago.

Luz is pretty sure she’s crying but it’s okay because they are the only ones in the hall and Amity is wiping away her tears.

“I like you too, dummy.” Amity laughs. It’s a nervous laugh, but it still makes Luz’s heart flutter.

Luz starts laughing too. She’s been worrying for no reason. “That’s good. That’s great. That’s awesome.” She repeats, nodding her head.

“Luz, we have to get to class before the teacher finds out.” Amity mutters, neither of them want to go but they also don’t want to risk getting in trouble.

“Okay, we can talk about this more later.” Luz gives her a quick peck on the cheek and runs back into Plant class.

Amity is frozen like a statue and Luz genuinely wonders if she broke her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i make a fourth part to this?
> 
> also did anyone catch the be more chill reference


End file.
